What is fear?
A painful emotion or passion excited by the expectation of evil, or the apprehension of impending danger; apprehension; anxiety; solicitude; alarm; dread. Fear is a chain reaction in the brain that starts with a stressful stimulus and ends with the release of chemicals that cause a racing heart, fast breathing and energized muscles among other things, also known as the fight-or-flight response. The stimulus could be a spider, a knife at your throat, an auditorium full of people waiting for you to speak or the sudden thud of your front door against the door frame.
I always thought fear belonged to others...right until on a Sunday night when I was laying in my bed back in November. I don't mean like the fear you feel when you are afraid of a spider, or get startled because someone you were not expecting jumps in front of you...
I mean gut wrenching fear, evil...life changing...
4 months ago I began a fight with a circumstance that could possibly forever change my life. I let fear consume me because for a moment there I doubted the one thing that held me together...GOD. Yes I am human after all...and very weak at times.
As I've been traveling this road of uncertainty, I have had more downs than up because I let my thoughts control me. And as the days and weeks went by the fear became so severe that It became affecting who I was, who I always wanted to be. It's funny because from then on, one bad circumstance after the other started happening...It was like a never ending fight for survival.
When evil gets a hold of your thoughts It is really hard to get back on track, and on some days I felt juts like Job did...
Job 3:25-26 "What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil."
I truly believed that God strategically places people in you life for a reason. He has without a doubt, placed some of the most magnificent group of people in my life. They have been there for me without judging me, praying for me and guiding my way back to where i used to be. The fear inside of me began to fade thanks to the prayers and God's amazing grace. God lovingly reminded me that he had never let go of me, that during this turmoil I was ALWAYS in his arms and that he NEVER once left me. When evil don't win...evil gets angry and it will do anything in his power to get a grip once again of your life, and take hold of everything that brings you closer to God.
I am happy to say that I have found my way back and don't ever want to be there again. Like I said before, the fight for my life has lasted a long time. About two weeks ago I had to be rushed to an OR (operating room) during what I thought would be a routine procedure, because I had uncontrollable bleeding. Like I said evil does not like to loose...
I always wondered if it would be like a movie, it actually kind of felt that way. As I sat at that table and my husband watched me bleed out...fear began to set in once again. The doctor ran in and said something to me that reminded me of God's amazing love and grace...It was like God was talking directly to me through that doctor...as i took my first deep breath right before I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack he said " Take a deep breath,don't be afraid, I will take care of you" and then I looked at him and It was almost immediately that the same fear that almost took over me had disappeared in a matter of seconds. At that moment regardless of the results of that exam or the surgery I was going to have...I KNEW that everything was going to ok.
A painful emotion or passion excited by the expectation of evil, or the apprehension of impending danger; apprehension; anxiety; solicitude; alarm; dread. Fear is a chain reaction in the brain that starts with a stressful stimulus and ends with the release of chemicals that cause a racing heart, fast breathing and energized muscles among other things, also known as the fight-or-flight response. The stimulus could be a spider, a knife at your throat, an auditorium full of people waiting for you to speak or the sudden thud of your front door against the door frame.
I always thought fear belonged to others...right until on a Sunday night when I was laying in my bed back in November. I don't mean like the fear you feel when you are afraid of a spider, or get startled because someone you were not expecting jumps in front of you...
I mean gut wrenching fear, evil...life changing...
4 months ago I began a fight with a circumstance that could possibly forever change my life. I let fear consume me because for a moment there I doubted the one thing that held me together...GOD. Yes I am human after all...and very weak at times.
As I've been traveling this road of uncertainty, I have had more downs than up because I let my thoughts control me. And as the days and weeks went by the fear became so severe that It became affecting who I was, who I always wanted to be. It's funny because from then on, one bad circumstance after the other started happening...It was like a never ending fight for survival.
When evil gets a hold of your thoughts It is really hard to get back on track, and on some days I felt juts like Job did...
Job 3:25-26 "What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil."
I truly believed that God strategically places people in you life for a reason. He has without a doubt, placed some of the most magnificent group of people in my life. They have been there for me without judging me, praying for me and guiding my way back to where i used to be. The fear inside of me began to fade thanks to the prayers and God's amazing grace. God lovingly reminded me that he had never let go of me, that during this turmoil I was ALWAYS in his arms and that he NEVER once left me. When evil don't win...evil gets angry and it will do anything in his power to get a grip once again of your life, and take hold of everything that brings you closer to God.
I am happy to say that I have found my way back and don't ever want to be there again. Like I said before, the fight for my life has lasted a long time. About two weeks ago I had to be rushed to an OR (operating room) during what I thought would be a routine procedure, because I had uncontrollable bleeding. Like I said evil does not like to loose...
I always wondered if it would be like a movie, it actually kind of felt that way. As I sat at that table and my husband watched me bleed out...fear began to set in once again. The doctor ran in and said something to me that reminded me of God's amazing love and grace...It was like God was talking directly to me through that doctor...as i took my first deep breath right before I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack he said " Take a deep breath,don't be afraid, I will take care of you" and then I looked at him and It was almost immediately that the same fear that almost took over me had disappeared in a matter of seconds. At that moment regardless of the results of that exam or the surgery I was going to have...I KNEW that everything was going to ok.
Psalm 34:4
I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.
My God is faithful.
I am happy to say that I am on my way to recovery and I know that even when I am caught in the midst of a storm my God will be right there with me...
1 comment:
What a great story, thanks for the honesty. I love the book of Job. If he can make it, we can make it!!!
Try reading 1 John chapter 4, good stuff!!!!
Thanks girl!!
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