Breaking down the walls and building up the soul.

Over the last month our family has been experiencing a lot of hardship. I'm not going to go into the details of it because most of the people that know me well already know what I am talking about. There has been a lot of times when I have no idea how the heck I am going to make it to work, do my job and come back home in without falling apart.
During the past 2 months, I have doubted, yelled, cried, worried, been awake for countless nights and lost 6 pounds due to stress. I let my human nature take over, when I could have given it to God and he could have given me peace.

Three months ago things were looking good for us as a family, we had big plans and It looked like everything was falling into place. Then the unexpected happened, things started to fall apart real quick. I had so much faith that God was going to give us what WE had planned for us. Then circumstances happened that prevented us from doing anything that we had planned for...not even one thing. It took a lot of painful nights and a lot of prayer to realize that what WE had planned for us was NOT what God had planned for us. Those plans were either on hold or God had something so much better for us. I was disappointed at myself for ever doubting God, and I was angry at myself for trying to fix it on my own. I prayed day and night for God to give me faith...

Matthew 17:20

"Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

God placed amazing people around my family that prayed, cried, and provided for us. It was these amazing people that helped me realize that I had to put my pride aside, and become vulnerable and transparent. Being transparent is something that is REALLY hard for me, but with the help of prayer, the amazing people around us and God I was able to break down those walls. I am SO amazingly blessed for each and everyone one of these people, specially when it came to my husbands health.

Isaiah 41:6

each helps the other and says to his brother, "Be strong!"

This whole experience has definitely built up our souls and has brought our family closer to God. Our faith has been tested but it was never absent....I know that sometimes our biggest struggles are our greatest blessings. Though we are not out of the pit, I have no doubt that God will see us through this...He has shown us his love by sending us our extended family in our time of need...our church family, and for that we will always be thankful.

Colossians 3:15

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.