Being a mom...

Well to day was my daughters first day of 5th grade. I had been nervous all weekend long and at times i wanted to cry. She is my one and only and she is the amazing blessing that God gave me, and how God literally saved my life. If it wasn't for that one blessing i would have probably been dead...but that is not what this is about...ask me later if you want to know.

This morning my stomach was probably turning more than hers, i can't believe how much time flies by. Whats the big deal you say? well if my memory serves me right, 5th grade for me was very hard. It's that age when you start deciding who you want to be and friends influence just about every decision you make. Last year i decided that i was going to move her to another school because the school that she attended was not meeting her needs (and she had been coming home with some really bad attitude), it was hard decision for me and my husband but we knew we needed to do what was best for her.

It's hard being a parent, there have been many times where i have doubted myself. I am my own worst critic and being a parent makes it harder for me. I love my girl so much and i know that every choice i make on her behalf is for her benefit not mine. Here is a short conversation we had the other day...

We were at Walmart this weekend buying her the rest of the things she needed before school, some clothes and shoes...we were in the store and she saw something that she wanted. We had already spent a lot of money on clothes and stuff, so we where just there to buy last minute things.

Mallory: Mom!!! come here!!

Me: what is it?

Mallory: Can i have this please???!!

I walked over to where she was standing...

Me: Mallory...why do you really want that? (it was shirt that had some sort of MP3 player attached)

Mallory: i like the shirt...

Me: yeah right!!

She laughed and I laughed and we walked away...then she proceeded to hug me and said...

Mallory: You are my mommy and i love you...you are my "NO" mom...

Me: Your "NO" mom???

Mallory: yeah you are my "NO" mommy...

Me: Yes you are right...i do say "No" to a lot of things that YOU DON'T NEED...

Mallory: I know..

Me: Tell me something..how do you think you would be like if i didn't say NO to you?

She paused for a moment and then looked down and said...

Mallory: I would be....selfish...

Me: You are probably right...and i only want what is best for you...

Mallory: That's why i love my mommy!!!

Then she hugged me and i kissed her and we continued shopping...

I love that she understood that i do what i do for a reason...because I LOVE HER...

She had a wonderful first day of school...and she was happy when she came home. I know that God has a plan for her, i sure hope that he can give me the wisdom to be the mom HE wants me to be.

Here is some pictures of her first day....

doesn't she look so excited?


i love my big girl...


her room number


stop taking my picture mom!!


so big...