The sadness that lives inside of me.

A few weeks ago my pastor (who is amazing by the way) was teaching a series that talked about risks...risk that we are willing to take as Christians to be able to bring glory to God....even if you stand alone.

In our notes there was a spot that had the question "What have you risked for God?". When i read it i instantly knew what i was going to write in that one blank spot, there was a specific time in my life where i knew that God was putting me up for a test and that i gave up something that meant so much to me. But while i was sitting there and i remembered that time in my life there was an overwhelming sense of sadness that filled my heart, it had been a real painful time in my life. I had played tug-o-war with God for months which made it even more painful.

I think that till this day i have not recovered from the hurt that i had gone through and i have not asked God to fill that void that lives inside of me. Even now as I'm writing this i have begun crying...

That blank line on that piece of paper made me think a lot about what i wanted to do in my life and how things have been SO different since i decided to "let go". Although i may get sad sometimes about what went on in my life , i does not compare to the joy that i have experienced since i decided to obey God. He has blessed me tremendously and i can already see him working on filling that void inside of me...

He has strategically placed wonderful people in my life...