WHAT DID YOU PUT ON THIS???

So most of you know that I have a wonderful pre-teen daughter that I love to death...She is for the most part a GREAT kid. She has been going through the pre-teen stuff like talking back and not listening the first time I tell her to do things.
Now being that I am not used to this kind of behavior because I've only had one kid, and my teaching experience is only as far as 5 years old...well it has been a little interesting. So from 5 years of age it all has been a learning experience for all of us, sometimes I do the right thing and sometimes I don't...It's all part of parenting.

I know that there is a gazillion books on parenting and so on and so forth...but the one thing that has been driving me nuts I can't seem to beat. For the last 5 months everything I give my kid to eat she has something to complain about!! what the heck!?? I know I am a good cook and I can make great food...I mean I'm no "Paula Dean" or "Rachael Ray" but I KNOW I can cook. She takes the first bite of ANYTHING on her plate and asks "What did you put on this?" I look at her and say "spices...food..you know...cooking things"...and then she looks away and says "well it tastes different" then I say "You've had this before...It's NOT cooked any different, and you liked it then"...and then she moves on to argue with me on how she has never had whatever I gave her before and how she is "FULL" all of a sudden... what the heck???!!
I know she is trying not to hurt my feelings by telling me she doesn't like it, but she rather eat processed "macaroni and cheese" and all that other crap that is out there. Where did I go wrong?? I mean this was the girl that loved taking a vegetable medley container to school for snack, she loved vegetables!!! She used to tell her friends to come over to eat because "her mommy's food was so good" She will still eat vegetables but not with any enthusiasm....and let me tell you that I haven't heard her invite her friends over to eat..she rather go to their house and eat :( It makes me so sad...

For the last 5 months I have been doubting myself as a cook. I don't know what else to do for her. The rule at my house is "You don't have to eat it if you don't like it, but you must try it at least twice (2 bites) , If you decide not to eat it Oh well...that's what's for dinner and the kitchen is closed " Do kids taste buds change when the hit puberty or something??? Because I'm assuming that IS what is happening to my kid. Unless I have truly become a horrible cook...
I just pray that God gives me strength to deal with her attitude...

Anyways, there is no point to this blog by the way...I just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.

This is a picture of the "Chicken Piccata" I love to make.

Breaking down the walls and building up the soul.

Over the last month our family has been experiencing a lot of hardship. I'm not going to go into the details of it because most of the people that know me well already know what I am talking about. There has been a lot of times when I have no idea how the heck I am going to make it to work, do my job and come back home in without falling apart.
During the past 2 months, I have doubted, yelled, cried, worried, been awake for countless nights and lost 6 pounds due to stress. I let my human nature take over, when I could have given it to God and he could have given me peace.

Three months ago things were looking good for us as a family, we had big plans and It looked like everything was falling into place. Then the unexpected happened, things started to fall apart real quick. I had so much faith that God was going to give us what WE had planned for us. Then circumstances happened that prevented us from doing anything that we had planned for...not even one thing. It took a lot of painful nights and a lot of prayer to realize that what WE had planned for us was NOT what God had planned for us. Those plans were either on hold or God had something so much better for us. I was disappointed at myself for ever doubting God, and I was angry at myself for trying to fix it on my own. I prayed day and night for God to give me faith...

Matthew 17:20

"Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

God placed amazing people around my family that prayed, cried, and provided for us. It was these amazing people that helped me realize that I had to put my pride aside, and become vulnerable and transparent. Being transparent is something that is REALLY hard for me, but with the help of prayer, the amazing people around us and God I was able to break down those walls. I am SO amazingly blessed for each and everyone one of these people, specially when it came to my husbands health.

Isaiah 41:6

each helps the other and says to his brother, "Be strong!"

This whole experience has definitely built up our souls and has brought our family closer to God. Our faith has been tested but it was never absent....I know that sometimes our biggest struggles are our greatest blessings. Though we are not out of the pit, I have no doubt that God will see us through this...He has shown us his love by sending us our extended family in our time of need...our church family, and for that we will always be thankful.

Colossians 3:15

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Break My Heart

What breaks you heart? ...

I know what breaks mine...One of my prayers to God within the last year has been for God to soften my heart. Many years ago my heart was so hard, I did not care about anyone else but me. God has really been working on my humility and the way I let myself trust people.

There is a song by Hillsong United called "Hosanna" that God seems to send me a message through. There is a part that says "Break my heart for what breaks yours" and for the longest time it has been my prayer. I have prayed to God to break my heart when I encounter something that breaks his heart, that he uses me to make things right around me.

I encountered that sadness about a month ago when I fed a homeless man....
I was on my way to the grocery store, and I was in a hurry because I wanted to make sure that I got home before my husband got home. I wanted to have dinner ready.
As I was walking in and I happen to notice a homeless man leaning against a column right outside the entrance of my neighborhood Vons. Since I was in hurry I did not make eye contact but I knew he was there. There was something about him that made me feel so sad inside...
When I was inside the grocery store I could not stop thinking about that man standing there in the cold. I quickly grabbed what I needed and proceeded to the check stand...and as I was standing there this verse came into my head..

Matthew 25:35-36

^"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me."

So I paid for my groceries and began to walk out...I walked past the homeless man, but on my way there I happened to make eye contact for a quick second. He had the most beautiful piercing blue eyes I had ever seen...they reminded me of the ocean. So I walked to my car put my groceries on the car and walked back to the homeless man. I stopped and asked him "are you hungry?" and he looked right up at me and said "yes ma'am I am" I said "wait right here, I'll be right back, don't leave"...he shook his head yes and I ran back into the grocery store.

I walked up and down the aisles and picked out a bunch of can goods,water and fruit that he could keep for days. I walked back out and handed him the bags of groceries he grabbed my hand and kept saying "thank you so much, thank you so much" I stared at him right into his beautiful blue eyes and said "you are welcome, God bless you". I walked to my car and got in...and as i started my car I began to cry and then sob uncontrollably. I had no idea what was happening to me...then It hit me... I was feeling a glimpse of the sadness that God felt when one of his children is lost and hurting.

I had asked God to break MY heart for what broke HIS . Let me tell you that It was a sadness I had never felt before. As I was sitting in my car falling apart I began to pray and to ask God to use me for his glory. I knew I had to get home so I turned my car on and drove myself home. I have no idea how I got home because all I remember Is crying ALL the way home. After I got home I began to wonder about that man, how he got there? where he slept? what had happen in his life to have landed him there, homeless and hungry?

I now open my eyes more to my surroundings and listen more attentively to what God might say to me. I sometimes feel that It was Jesus himself who shook my hand and said "thank you". All i know now is that God loves his children SO much, and that he suffers when we are sad.

When the answer is NO...

I remember growing up in a home where mom was the boss, and my dad was the provider. My mom always made the decisions and when it came to the kids...dad would NEVER get involved.
Even though my dad never got involved, I was HIS girl. He would always bring me my favorite pastry, candy or whatever I wanted right before dinner without my mom knowing, my dad liked to spoil my appetite before dinner ;).
I loved my dad and he hardly ever said NO to me. It didn't take long to figure out how to manipulate my parents. When I wanted to go somewhere and I knew my mom would say no, I would ask my dad first because he would say yes and then my mom HAD to say yes...(by the way I caught my daughter doing that last month...and then I told my husband that he could not say yes to anything she asked until WE discussed it together).

Once I turned ten, my father realized that I was NO longer a little girl. The first time my father said NO I went on a rebellious rampage that led from one bad decision to the next, and with no parental guidance on site It only got worse as the days went by (my mother lived in the hospital until I was 14 an my father worked the second shift). Who knew that one of the most stupid decisions of my life was going to lead me to road of salvation....

When I got saved I felt like my heavenly father gave me a lot of things that I prayed for even when I felt I didn't deserve it (kinda like my earthly father). I have grown so much over the years, and I have also learned that the answer is not always yes. I remember the first time my heavenly father said No to me, my father died that day when he went in for a simple procedure that the doctor said would not take long, and my father would be great. Hours upon hours went by and finally the doctor called us in and said that my father had suffered cardiac arrest, and that they could not resuscitate him in time so his brain had died from not receiving enough oxygen. I remember crying out to God so hard that I felt like my chest was going to explode, I wanted God to bring him back, to save him, to bring him back to my mother. But God said NO.

What happens to us when the answer is NO? Does our faith in God change? Do we turn our backs? For a few people sadly that is the answer. Not for me...I decided that there had to be a reason why God was saying NO to me, for little while I thought that God was not listening to me. Little did I know that God had already responded by not responding. As I matured in my Christian walk, my prayers have changed from "God take away this pain" to "God help me bear this pain and help me learn what you are trying to teach me". There is ALWAYS a lesson to be learned. God only wants what is best for us, and he would NEVER say yes to one of our prayer if it meant it could possibly lead us away from him or hurt us.
We often times think that because God IS God, he wont let our father die, or we wont loose our job, or one of our family members wont be terminally ill after all. Well you know what? Sometimes our father calls our father to heaven, sometimes God had bigger plans for us other than that job, and sometimes it takes an illness to bring you closer to God. The answer will NOT always be YES, only God knows what he has planned for all of us. In fact sometimes for our own good, or that of others, "NO" is the only answer a loving God would give.
I am VERY thankful for all the prayers in which God has said YES, but none of those have brought me closer to the Lord than the ones in which the answer was NO.

Keep this in mind when you YOUR answer is NO:

I. God always has an answer...and like it or not "NO" is an answer too.

II. Just because God will not, does not mean He CANNOT. He is able to do abundantly more than we can ask or even think. (Eph 3:20-21)

III. We don't always know what His purpose is, but we can affirm THAT it is; and because of what God has revealed to us of Himself; we know that His purpose is all-loving and all-wise

Climbing the Mountain

Since the beginning of time, God's desire was to have a family. In fact, he expressed it when he created Adam and Eve. The book of Genesis also declares that "it was not good for man to be alone" (2:18). These opening passages should remind us that we were created to be communing with God and other people. But many of us have chosen NOT to be a part of God’s family for several different reasons; personality, past experiences, fear and so on.


Imagine this... You are getting ready to climb the highest mountain on Earth. You do not have a map, a plan or a partner. You know you must climb it, but you have no idea where to begin. And so you start your journey. On you way up, you fall, break your bones, cut yourself and even slip back all the way to square one. You are proud and you will not give up so you try again, not realizing that on top of having to climb the mountain you may have to deal with the weather. So now you are either freezing or overheating...

After so many tries and failed attempts you begin to get discouraged and your spirit begins to break. Though your spirit might be broken you still get up again and give it another shot. When you finally get to the top, you realize that you are there alone, with permanent damage caused to your body and your spirit. Many of us have been there…including me.

Ask yourself this, "Did I have to endure all that pain alone? And how much less pain would I have gone through if I had someone pulling me along, encouraging me, praying for me, and sometimes even preparing me for my journey? God gives us the experiences in our lives to be able to help each other along the way (Galatians 6:2). God uses every experience for his glory. I can personally account for that. Did you know that one of the worst forms of punishment for a criminal is solitary confinement? Why do you think that is? BEACAUSE WE ARE NOT MEANT TO BE ALONE!

Being a part of God’s family is one of God’s purposes for your life. That was his plan for you before you were born. The entire bible is a story of God building a family who will love him, honor him and reign with him forever. So, how do we accomplish that? The invitation to be a part of God’s family is universal, but there is one condition: faith in Jesus. Jesus helps us learn how to help each other, love each other, and be there for each other (John 13:34, Rom 12:10, Eph 4:2). We are born again into God’s family through faith. Once we become part of God’s family we are blessed to inherit everything that our Father has to offer.

I know what is like to internalize everything. I know what it is like to be proud and put up a front as if everything is okay. But I, like many other people, have gone through a lot of pain and unnecessary heartache. Don’t get me wrong, I have learned a lot about myself through those experiences and God has taught me a lot about the kind of person he wants me to be. But now that I have decided to be a part of God’s family, that mountain looks like a small hill. So if you are facing a mountain or a small hill, know that there are people out there that want to climb with you, help you along and pray with you. God strategically placed people in you life to help you grow, to help you conquer and reach the top so that TOGETHER we can bring him glory.